Things You Learn From Your Married Life That You Often Ignore




People think that marriage is about marrying the right person. However, it is much more than that. When things start to go wrong and their fairy tale seems to slip away, they devalue the significance of marriage and think that they accidentally married the wrong person.




Relationships Are A Constant Work In Progress

Whether you know it or not, you and your partner communicate in a way that there is an exchange of responses from each other. It is a sense of doing things that make your partner react to something you do that also makes your counter and so on. The relationship usually creates a cycle of treatment that both of you have for each other. You two begin to build a pattern of habitual responses and actions over time. The change of behavior of one person can impact the behavior of the other, and that affects the entire relationship.

So when things try to change, and both couples make small to huge adjustments, the interaction and response also varies. When you try to become rude to your partner, therefore the response will also be the same. He will develop a coping mechanism that can instantly react to your adverse action. As for the positive side, when one of you acts positively, it will influence your partner to respond in the same manner as well.

Tips for a wife from Karen Ruskin, PsyD: “Giving your husband attention, she says, is powerfully addictive to him.”


Giving Too Much Is Not A Privilege

Too much of something is dangerous. You have to put boundaries in the activities that keep you healthy. You have to set your priorities straight and know the kind of marital relationship that you prefer. However, most couples fail to realize that the act of always agreeing to favors and requests is dangerous especially when it doesn’t support the balance of giving and take relationship.

Most couples are sometimes unaware of their habits, and because they want to achieve a happy marriage, they tend to become more open with their partners when it comes to their demands. However, it creates complication because when couples don’t feel the need to disagree on something, it means they are not developing in all aspects at all. It will trigger mental and physiological alterations that will hinder personal growth.

Fact: “Many couples confuse their loyalties and don’t set boundaries with their family and friends.” – Massey-Hastings, PsyD




Taking Time Off When It’s Needed

It’s natural to feel the need for space when you and your spouse feel like crowding each other too much. Needing space doesn’t have to be a bad thing; it is a necessity that you and your significant other need so you can bring your mature self into the relationship. It will not only give you both a chance to cool down but also help in your marriage in any issue that you’re facing so you can put things into perspective. Sometimes, the only way to resolve your message is by allowing yourself to find your purpose.

You may think that you already understand how marriage needs to be and that you perfectly know how your married life needs to flow, but in reality, you don’t. Marriage is not something you can easily hold on to because it requires tons of effort and learning that could even last a lifetime. You need to experience a lot of heartaches, failures, and stresses before you can finally achieve that marital self-growth.

According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Couples thinking about marriage can often feel unsure about how to know if their relationship is strong enough to withstand the test of marriage. Knowing what to ask each other can be an important step in sorting through whether you are truly, long-lastingly compatible.”