Our spouse is supposed to be the one person we are comfortable talking to about anything, anytime. However, there are individuals out there who admit experiencing the opposite. They feel scared or uncomfortable whenever their spouse is around, and it seems they couldn’t be themselves.
If you are one of these “suffer in silence” types of individual, remember that no one is going to fix your relationship but you. Your partner may be unaware of how he makes you feel. Somehow, it makes it your mistake to blame him for something he doesn’t know he is doing, so stop telling your friends how terrible he is and start doing something to make your relationship better.
You can start by telling your spouse how you really feel, and maybe convince him that you both go to a talk therapy where you can discuss your issues and figure out what you can do to fix your supposed problem.
“You might be able to get to know your therapist before you meet in person.” – Aarti Gupta, PsyD
If You Are Hesitant On Convincing Him, Here Are A Few Steps For You To Follow:
Expose Your True Feelings.
Letting him know where you stand in your relationship is a big thing. He might be clueless about the hardships you are going through. Sometimes, we tend to think that our partner is insensitive of our feelings and are intentionally hurting us without feeling remorse, but have we considered the possibility that they don’t know they are already hurting us?
Explain The Benefits Of Talk Therapy.
Some people may not be familiar with talk therapy. They may find it useless and absurd to ask for other people’s help in trying to fix an internal problem. Your spouse can be one of these people, but you have the power to make him understand why it is necessary, and if he is still not convinced, maybe you could ask him to do it for you and say, “I need you to do it for me.”
A statement from a therapist named Lara Fielding, PsyD: “”One of the primary skills I am trying to teach is to slow down and compassionately observe experience.”
Explain Why Talk Therapy Is Necessary.
After you expose your feelings and explain the benefits of talk therapy, make him understand your point of why the two of you need it. If he obviously doesn’t know your relationship has a problem at all, then he might fear you are thinking of ending it. He needs to know that seeking help is not your way to step out but to save you both from a wreck that one of you never saw coming. Explain to him that you want talk therapy because you want to stay married.
Set His Expectations.
He might think he’s the only one who got issues to settle, and you think he is a problem, but make an assurance how he would benefit as well by asking him, “Help me improve myself because I want to be a better partner to you.” He must know that you are not doing the therapy because of him. It should be about both of you and how you badly want to save your relationship.
According to Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC, “Most therapists mean well and are willing to take accountability for their own “stuff.””
Talk therapy is beneficial to couples as it is one way to address the common issue that we all commonly ignore – the fear of communicating our true feelings because we are scared we are going to upset or hurt the other. This thing needs to stop. It can cause serious damage to a relationship because communication is a vital element in keeping it healthy. Without it, a couple might grow apart and eventually lose the desire to stay together.
Find out more about the benefits of therapy in improving relationships by going to this link: