Frequently Asked Questions About Light Therapy

I must admit that I am one of the most straight-laced people in the world. I always say that everyone must abide by the rules if we want to live and smoothly. For instance, you would never find me without my seatbelt on. If any passenger of mine refused to wear theirs, I would not drive at all. If I felt the symptoms of flu, diarrhea, or any other simple illnesses, I would go straight to the doctor instead of buying pills over the counter, considering no one was supposed to self-medicate. People tend to find me weird, but I believed that the best way to handle a situation was by doing what’s expected of you.

The thing was, my straight-laced personality pushed my husband away. At least, that was the reason he gave me when I asked why he cheated on me. My ex said, “I always wanted to do things his way, and I felt suffocated by you, so I looked for another woman. A fine woman.”

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His words were simple and short, but the pain that it brought me took years to subside. I could not bear to look at my ex’s face again, so I had an attorney file my divorce papers and handle the proceedings. When I received the news that it got finalized already, my marriage was officially over; I buried myself at work. I did not want to leave the house for a while.

It was a fitting choice, given that I was a graphic artist, and I could do my work anywhere as long as I had my iPad or drawing table with me.

During the first few days of my self-isolation, I still followed the normal work hours. I would start at 9:00 a.m. and be done with my work at around 5:00 p.m. However, I realized soon enough that it could be boring to stay alone at night without doing anything, so I started taking on side jobs. From the typical eight-hour shift, I went on to work for 15 hours every day, including the weekends.

People might say I’m a nutcase, but I welcomed my hectic schedule with open arms because I hardly thought of my ex and his crippling infidelity while working. I did not need to worry about staring at the four walls of my bedroom at night, thinking of what I could have done to save my marriage, Not to mention; my income tripled – something that I never knew was possible.

The only problem I saw was that I had no more time to get groceries or have them delivered. So, what I would do was order food from restaurants every day. It was like McDonald’s for breakfast, Mariano’s (the local deli) for lunch, and Olive Garden for dinner all the time. The delivery guys were no longer surprised whenever I asked them to slip my food through the dog flap. They knew that I did not want to leave my house, and they respected my decision.

You could imagine how shocked I was when my door suddenly burst open one afternoon. I was almost blinded by the bright light that entered my living room, but when I squinted, I saw my mother standing by the door. She seemed really pissed.

“What have you done to yourself, child?” Mom asked. “Why did you let yourself go like this?”

I did not understand what she meant by that initially. I did not feel like my old self, but I felt as good as I could be as a new divorcee. Perhaps still seeming confused, my mother dragged me in front of the mirror. That’s when I saw that I gained a lot of weight during my hibernation.

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My stomach was sticking out in my 2XL nightshirt. It was a big deal since it never happened before. What’s worse than my body, though, was my face – particularly the large bags under my eyes. They were so dark and puffy that one might think that I was wearing prosthetics to look old.

Almost at the same instant, I realized that I had been dealing with depression for months subconsciously. I told my mother at once that I wanted to get better. When she started talking about the psychologists and psychiatrists that she knew and what antidepressants could be good for me, I stopped her and said that I would not go down that path. “I’m done being Ms. Goody Two-Shoes. I will try an alternative treatment to cope with my depression,” I said.

After a few tries, I finally came across light therapy.

What is the best light therapy for depression?

Talk with your doctor before looking for the best light therapy box for you, especially if you experience two different mental health issues. The lightbox should provide ten thousand lux of light but emit as little UV light as possible. 

How long does it take for light therapy to work for depression?

Studies have been published noting that light therapy can work after one hour, and some have shown that light therapy can start taking effect as early as a few days. However, there are cases where it can take up to two to three weeks and sometimes even more. It is important to note that light therapy is not a cure for Seasonal Affective Disorder or depression. 

Do SAD lights work for depression?

Yes, this can help with major depressive disorders that have seasonal patterns and other types of depression. Although doctors do not have a scientific explanation for this, light therapy has been shown to help treat depression and other disorders. Although it can have numerous side effects, all these side effects are very much easy to treat. 

Does light therapy help anxiety?

In a study published in May of 2013, 58 patients had completed the trial for light therapy. The study aimed to examine the effectiveness of light therapy with symptoms of anxiety and depression. The researchers found that patients who underwent light treatment had significantly lower scores for anxiety and depression. So yes. Light therapy does help with anxiety.

Can SAD lights cause anxiety?

People who have anxiety are generally more sensitive to light. Some studies show that light exposure, especially during the night, can directly affect the parts of our brain that deal with mood regulation and behavior. Although it is pretty ironic that something that can cause anxiety also helps treat it. 

Does light therapy work for wrinkles?

LED light therapy can improve wrinkles and scarring because LED lights do not contain ultraviolet light, making it safer for your skin. This happens because the light acts as fibroblasts, which are skin cells responsible for collagen production or our skin’s protein.

Can you overdo LED light therapy?

No, you cannot overdo LED light therapy for most people. However, if you notice different results from the promised result, make sure that you stop treatment and contact your physician to determine what happened. If you desire the best results possible, make sure you choose the suitable device and the perfect LED color. Also, use it as directed and not as you think it should be used. 

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Is red light therapy a hoax?

Although researchers are not entirely sure how red light therapy works, it has never really been disproved. Generally, this form of treatment is considered safe, and there are no set rules for how much light a person should be using while undergoing this therapy. However, it is essential to remember that too much light can damage our skin tissues, while too little light can also hold the possibility of the therapy not working.

How successful is TMS? 

TMS providers have found that the success rate of TMS is between 70 to 80 percent. This means that most individuals who have undergone this therapy find great relief after receiving this treatment. Fifty percent of people who have experienced this therapy also experience complete remission, meaning that the present symptoms of depression are now absent after only the treatment.

Is TMS therapy permanent?

No matter how encouraging and note-worthy the results of TMS therapy are, it is also essential that we understand that these results are not permanent. Much like all other treatments or therapy, there is still a high chance of recurrence. Although a significant number of patients who receive TMS therapy also report that they feel better for several months after treatment ends. 

Can TMS make you more depressed?

No, it cannot make you more depressed. However, a study has been published showing that when used for depression, TMS can cause an increase in anxiety. This happens most, especially with individuals who also experience panic disorders. You could get more depressed with this treatment if you think deep down that this will not help you anymore or that you are too far gone to be helped by anyone or any treatment. Going into therapy, make sure that you are ready for this and that this is your choice because the only way this will work is if you allow it to. 

How does TMS treat depression?

During these sessions, an electromagnetic coil will be placed against your scalp by your forehead. This coil then releases a painless magnetic pulse, which will stimulate your nerve cells in your brain that are responsible for mood controls and depression. The pulse also activates areas in your brain, which have decreased activity during the depression. 

Does TMS change your personality?

No, this treatment does not change your personality in any way. A study, however, was cited to state that specific personality dimensions may increase the patient’s response to their antidepressants when they are given repetitive treatments to TMS. What it can do, however, is it can relieve depressive symptoms, which can improve a person’s cognitive ability and function. 

How do you know TMS is working?

Some people do not notice any changes until after a few weeks of treatment, but this does not mean that the patient does not notice that other people like friends and family do not see a change in that person’s mood or behavior, no matter how subtle. These subtle changes can be things like small upticks in their mood, energy, and motivation. So do not judge your progress based on what you can or cannot see because you will never really know how far you have come until that moment comes.

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How long do TMS results last?

Since depression is a unique experience that can vary from person to person, there is no specific answer to this question. People who have regularly undergone this treatment report that they feel and experience improvement anywhere from six months to a year, or in some cases, this can be longer than that, but the average time for this is one year. 

How long is TMS treatment?

The typical course for a TMS treatment is around four to six weeks. A patient can receive TMS five times a week. Each session’s length will depend on the length of the coil used and the number of pulses delivered. Each session’s standard is somewhere between 30 to 40 minutes per session, but this will still depend on many factors. 

Is TMS long-lasting?

In 2015, a study was published in World Psychiatry, which had concluded that TMS is an effective treatment for people who have been diagnosed with Major depressive disorder or MDD. These patients are typically those who do not respond well to their medications. The study says that the more resistant a patient is to their medication, the more significant TMS treatment effects to a patient are. Finally, the study states that results “may appear durable for up to 16 weeks”. Meanwhile, other studies show that patients actually can feel better for up to a year or so. 

Final Thoughts

The #1 basher of the light therapy in my family was my mother. She had never heard of it before, so she assumed the worst about it. However, I did not listen to her as I invested my time and effort into the treatment. It eventually paid off as I felt the urge to go out more and even consider joining the dating pool again.

Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety Contributors

I recently got diagnosed with anxiety disorder, and I can say that it was shocking. Until now, I can’t still believe that I now have a mental illness. At first, I thought my worries and fears are just normal and that I don’t have to think about it as something that would change my life until it did. I became more conscious about things around me, and I frequently have these ongoing thoughts and “what ifs.” Sometimes, I even end up isolating myself because of the constant pressure of proving to other people that I can be okay. Everything in my life was confusing and a bit debilitating due to my anxiety disorder.

I understand that my anxiety disorder didn’t just happen automatically. I certainly know that there are a lot of factors that trigger my mental health problem. That is why I frequently asked questions about anxiety contributors. Here are some of the questions I usually ask myself.

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What are personality types more prone to anxiety?

There are some certain personality traits of people that are more likely to experience anxiety. Some children are timid, perfectionists, inhibited, and easily flustered. Also, personality traits such as lack of self-esteem or want to control everything add to the list.

Knowing that particular information made me realize that a sudden personality change does not always associate with an individual’s free-will. Sometimes, there are these triggers that a person can’t handle. These triggers include financial strain, the death of a loved one, conflict with other people, relationship matters, and so on.

 What triggers my anxiety?

There are a lot of daily stressors that can trigger anxiety. Some examples are traffic jams, missing a bus ride, noisy environment, and loaded household chores. However, long-term or chronic stress can come from emotional issues related to family, friends, and colleagues’ relationships. There is a constant emotional imbalance that a person cannot easily handle.

When experiencing anxiety, you should pay attention to your symptoms. Never ignore it. Yes, you may sometimes feel that the symptoms are normal, but when you realize that they are becoming a hindrance to your daily function, you need to seek help immediately. Never excuse yourself from taking care of it and never feel sorry for having a mental illness.

 What famous person has anxiety?

Famous persons diagnosed with anxiety include Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian West, Adele, Missy Elliott, Kristen Stewart, Busy Philipps, and more.

As you can see, even infamous individuals experience anxiety just like other ordinary people. Therefore, we can assume that an individual can still suffer from mental and emotional issues despite having almost everything.

 What is the best job for a person with anxiety?

The best job for people with anxiety would be a counselor. That is because they are in a good position to be empathetic, given that they have experienced anxiety themselves. They will help others going through mental health issues because they can provide more relatable insights about the mental health problem’s signs and symptoms.

But available jobs for people with anxiety are not limited to counselors only. There are other jobs that they can also have, such as dog trainer, accountant, landscaper, entrepreneur, firefighter, artists, and writer.

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 Does anxiety worsen with age?

The truth is, anxiety disorders don’t necessarily get worse with age. However, the number of individuals experiencing the condition changes across their lifespan. Meaning, though anxiety is more common with older age, children and adolescents move closer to the number of affected individuals.

Anxiety, though it can get linked to age-related problems, is not exclusive to adults. Research shows that even children and teenagers get diagnosed with anxiety disorder too.

 What are the happiest jobs?

The happiest jobs out there are Engineers, closely followed by teachers and nurses. That is, according to most experts’ analysis. Perhaps that is due to their work’s nature, where they engage with different people every day. The people they deal with impacts their lives in more significant ways.

But depending on the individual, his jobs can be significantly important to him, especially when it brings satisfaction and happiness. Not only because the person likes what he does, but because he knows he is surrounded by friends and colleagues that positively impacts his life. Honestly, when he looks at it differently and optimistically, a person’s job can become the best job for him. As long as he understands the complication, demands, and withholding stress of the daily duties he got to take, the individual can professionally manage.

 What is the least stressful job?

The least stressful jobs that people consider include the following: compliance officer, diagnostic medical sonographer, operations research analyst, medical records technician, university professor, audiologist, hairstylist, medical records technician, and jeweler.

But note that not because your job is not on the list does not mean that yours is not that stressful. Depending on the situation and the environment you are in, your most loved job can become worse at some point. Also, some things that do not tend to be a big deal for you can become a huge factor for others. Thus, it just means that there are entirely no stressful or less stressful jobs out there. People experience anxiety and stress on their job, but only on different levels.

 What is the most relaxing job?

Some of the most relaxing jobs are Astronomer, Optometrist, Radiologic Technologist, Power Plant Operator, Computer Network Technician, Electrician, Software, or Interactive Media Developer.

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Insight

With mental illness, things are often bound to change. Sometimes, there is no specific moment as to where you would experience severe symptoms. But you need always to remember that your overall recovery is not automatic. You are responsible for keeping your overall health intact. So if you will be given a chance to choose between stress and wellness, always choose wellness above all.

So as for me, despite the hardships of trying to get better, I always stay positive. I still want to choose mental and emotional wellness above anything.

 

Mental Health 101: When Quitting Means Winning

For the most of my life, I believed that quitters were losers. My parents often said, “If you start something, make sure you stick to it no matter what.” So, I tried to sign up for activities that I genuinely liked to reduce the likelihood of throwing the white flag and giving up. Unfortunately, I miscalculated my actions when I went to college. 

I had a year to think about my major, but it was tough for me to decide. My parents didn’t want to suggest anything because they wanted me to make up my mind. On the last day of the decision-making process, I chose to enter the university’s Chemistry program.

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Why Chemistry, you might ask? I went with it because I excelled in the subject when I was still in high school. The second choice was Creative Writing, but my parents said it might not be ideal for financial reasons, so I didn’t pick it. 

During my first year as a Chemistry major student, I must admit how enjoyable it was. I met a lot of smart folks and learned so much from them. I even saw first-hand that having a high level of intelligence couldn’t turn you into a geek automatically. However, things changed when I failed a subject in my second year and had to retake it the next semester.

My interest in Chemistry began to wane at that point, but I didn’t tell another soul. I should have taken it as a sign that I was never meant to be a chemist, but I didn’t. Instead, I smiled through the whole thing and made my friends and family believe that I was still in the game. I said, “I will make sure to ace it next time around.”

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And I tried to make it happen, you know. I studied day and night; I only rested when I slept or ate or traveled. My parents asked if I was alright, and I always replied, “Yes.” I didn’t want to seem like a loser in anyone’s eyes, much less to my family.

Nevertheless, I eventually had to confront reality when I failed another subject in my junior year. It was a prerequisite for an elective subject that I wanted to take later, and failing meant that I’d have to extend my schooling for another semester. It sucked so bad; I could barely hide my self-disappointment to my loved ones. At the same time, that’s when I felt that majoring in Chemistry was not my destiny. Still, I could not let my parents know that I wanted to quit and find another path for myself because I was afraid of hearing them say, “I didn’t know we raised a loser.” So, for a few months, I forced myself to continue my studies.

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Deciding To Quit

‘Forced’ was the most appropriate term to describe what I did because I felt so down and didn’t want to do anything. Little did I know, I was going to classes less and less. Sometimes, I would wake up before class and come up with excuses to avoid attending it. Whenever my friends would call and ask where I was, I lied and told them that I was stuck in traffic or ill. My alibis became so ridiculous that my professors threatened to flunk me immediately if I didn’t go back to school at once.

Well, it wasn’t a huge pile of schoolwork that made me decide to quit studying at that moment. Instead, it was the fact that I didn’t care if I flunked all my classes. I was too numb to worry about what my parents would say once they learned about it, too. I knew then that I was done with Chemistry; if I forced myself to study further, I might die (literally).

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When Quitting Means Winning

I went straight to my parents’ house to tell them what had been happening to me and what I had been feeling for a while. Looking back, I wasn’t sure if it was a smart move, considering I didn’t come up with any plan. I merely thought that it was better if they heard the bad news from me directly.

To my surprise, my parents started crying and hugged me almost at the same time. They said they felt guilty for not noticing my ordeal. However, I assured them that it wasn’t their fault since I took up Chemistry independently. At the same time, I insisted that quitting school was the best decision for me then.

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My parents gave me their blessing in a heartbeat. On that same day, I moved out of the dorms and went back to their house. I took a leave of absence from school and decided to try my hand at creative writing. It turned out to be the wisest decision I had ever made, considering writing felt more like a hobby than a chore for me.

Because of that, I could confirm that quitting could mean winning sometimes.

An Overview Of Family Life Coaching

 

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A life coach comprehends the fact that a family is not spared from problems, including small ones like having trouble dealing with the new teenager, or as tough as coping with the infidelity of a partner. Realistically, it’s not easy to live with other people, even if these people are your family members, those that love and care for you the most. Developing a stable and efficient family dynamics needs time, effort, and patience. You need to keep the whole family happy and mentally healthy.

Family coaching sessions are beneficial to families who need tools and strategies that will help them resolve misunderstandings, come up with agreements, and optimistically change a troubled living situation into a convenient and happy one.

Definition

Family coaching has a similar primary goal as all other kinds of coaching – to provide guidance and direction to someone to get them from where they currently are to where they wish to be. Like the business mentor who is tasked to reorganize a business team or teach the leader better communication strategies, a family coach goes into the home to work ready to collaborate with the members of the family. His goal is to look for ways to identify the family’s issues and problems and then find ways to resolve these problems.

How Family Coaching Can Help

Disagreements and conflicts in the home can be more devastating and stressful than conflicts in the workplace. When we decide to have a family, we typically do so because of love. But despite those feelings of love and passion, these can be broken and damaged through time due to various misfortunes and challenges in life. And sadly, most of them cause permanent scars. Family coaching provides realistic solutions to these personal, financial, and other types of family problems.

 

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People can reach out to family coaches when they want help with resolving their marriage problems, raising and disciplining children, managing work-life balance, dealing with difficult teenagers, and getting over a separation or divorce.

Primarily, one might not feel comfortable with the concept of consulting a stranger to help them resolve their family issues and welcome him into their home to observe the family dynamics. It’s not an ordinary circumstance, and it could feel rather demoralizing to think that your lives are being meddled and judged, or perhaps you or another family member will be blamed for something went wrong. However, a family coach is not there to condemn or point fingers. He is there to help the family come up with a perspective so that everyone will be able to get the bigger picture and learn to embrace the roles that each member plays. Once everyone understands and accepts that there are things that need transformation, the entire family can now find ways to move forward with positivity and hope.

Common Family Issues

Teenagers. This stage of life is one of the most difficult for parents and even the whole family to manage. Peer problems, stress from school, erratic hormones, and the teenager’s nature to fight for his freedom can swiftly transform the home into a battlefield. Parents who respond to these behaviors in anger and resentment will only cause their teens to talk back and isolate themselves even more. The teen might misunderstand her parents’ anger as hate rather than just a form of worry for them. A family coach works with the parents and the teen to build mutual respect, establish more concrete boundaries, and cultivate more understanding with one another. He helps both parties to be able to see from each other’s perspective.

Separation

There are a lot of causes why couples decide to separate, although separation or divorce is the final stage wherein parties come to accept that the marriage doesn’t work anymore. Most couples say that separation is one of the most difficult experiences that they’ve ever had to deal with. Moving forward can be especially devastating if you need to be in contact with your ex-spouse, such as if you have kids together. A family coach can provide guidance for families to be able to efficiently go through the experience with as little pain and trauma as possible for everyone.

Work/Life Balance

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Getting hooked or having kids doesn’t really mean you need to set aside your career. It only means that you will have to contemplate your work/life balance. Family coaching is a beneficial tool for families to be able to work together on attaining a functional work/life balance because it provides everyone the opportunity to gather together in one room and talk about each other’s feelings and opinions. Coaching sessions are developed to get everyone to open up so that an agreement can be reached without conflict or misunderstanding.

If you feel that your family life needs a little help, you could reach out to a family coach just so someone from outside kick-starts some positive vibes into the everyday routine. Ironically, family coaching is particularly powerful when the opinions of the members are divided. The coach will help everyone understand where each member is coming from so that stability is achieved between tackling realities and enjoying life.

 

 

Lockdown Realizations – Life Lessons You Learn Too Late

In this time of crisis, there are a lot of things going on. Surely, with your home quarantine experience, you have plenty of time realizing how your life has been. You are often thinking about stuff that somehow causes you to worry and fear. That’s okay. For sure, most people right now are probably thinking the same thing. And given this pandemic situation, I bet you already figure out some of these life lessons you learn too late.

There’s A Lot Of time – If you are often procrastinating and usually say that you have all-time in the world, you might want to reconsider. Just think about what is happening right now. The pandemic is causing a severe problem where it currently restricts you from doing a lot of things. Now that you only have limited time to be out there, perhaps you already realized that time is precious because there’s no way you can predict what might happen in the future. So when this is all over, try not to take time for granted.

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You Can Change Easily – Well, at some point, you might say that there is no greater power than change. However, changing and adapting to things around you is not easy. It does not happen naturally, and you might have serious issues dealing with new things in your life. So you can’t wait around the corner and expect the world to adjust for you because it won’t provide you the life you imagined. The only way to progress in this situation is by taking the initiative. This whole situation is uncontrollable. Thus you need to commit 100% into the required life adjustment.

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Complaining Won’t Solve Anything – Admittedly, you probably have wasted a lot of time complaining about your situation. But does it solve anything? Perhaps right now, you know that complaining will never solve your life issues. It doesn’t even contribute to motivating you to look at things differently. Every time you complain, you are only bearing yourself into the pit of negativity that soon piles up. And one day, you’ll self-destruct.

Regretting Missed Opportunities – Understandably, there are a lot of things you missed due to the pandemic situation. Perhaps you canceled some of the most important events on your schedule. But regretting it and finding things to blame for that isn’t doing you any favors. If you keep whining over the chances you didn’t take when life outside was still okay, you will never focus on the bigger picture, which is keeping your mental state intact.

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Health Habits Are Life-Long Battle – Take a minute to think about your ideal self. Of course, at this pandemic time, you want to be as healthy as much as possible to avoid getting caught with the infection. But how much effort do you put in obtaining your health goal? Surely, you can find a lot of excuses not to eat healthy food, sleep in time, or exercise during this crisis. But if you understand the importance of staying healthy, you will first consider the lifestyle you have right now.

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Expect The Unexpected – No one tells you how inevitable things are. There is no way you can predict something to happen. It is safe to assume that things will always go wrong. That is precisely the reason why this whole pandemic situation is taking longer than expected. Like you, people are trying to live and survive the situation because that is all they can do. Their abilities are limited to options that are only available in pieces. By now, perhaps you realize that nothing entirely beats preparation and planning.

Coronavirus Outbreak – Working From Home Tips

During this global health crisis, people are instructed to stay at home until further notice. With that, some of them lost their jobs because of the worldwide lockdown. But fortunately, some individuals are privileged and allowed to work from home. The whole endeavor is a little bit challenging and complicated. That is especially for those who are used to do their jobs outside their homes.

Working from home requires an excellent routine to become effective. You might need to make some adjustments and considerations so that your work-from-home will not interfere with your life. So how can you manage to develop a good routine? Glad there are some practical ways.

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Start Working Early – A work from home and other errands in the house usually get piled up due mishandling of schedules. If you think that working late is a good idea, you might not like the result of getting too much pressure at night. You might not even get the right amount of rest you deserve. Besides, if you waste a lot of time in the morning doing nothing, you might not be able to complete all the chores by the end of the day. Soon you will end up rushing things and pushing yourself to the verge of exhaustion.

Insert A 5 to 15 Minute Exercise Daily – Yes, not because you work from home does not mean you need to cut back on some of the things you should do daily. A 5 to 10-minute exercise is enough to boost your energy. It will help you gain mental and physical strength that you will need for the whole day of work and house chores. Not all that, if you maintain exercising for the entire quarantine period, you might thank yourself for allowing it from becoming strong and healthy.

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Put Up A Plan – Planning is the best thing to do, especially if you are working from home. Since you will be dividing your time to work and organizing the house, you better make a to-do-list. But note, your list should be realistic and attainable so that you will not bother to skip your task. Start with the essential duty you have to accomplish. Try finishing it before jumping on another. You must avoid multi-tasking. It can lead to unfinished responsibilities, and you wouldn’t want to get back doing stuff over and over again.

Remove All Distractions – Working from home is difficult due to lots of distractions. Since you can access everything in the house with your convenience, leaving chores and duties hanging becomes tempting. So if you want to accomplish both work and house tasks in a day, you need to remove all distractions. You can consider putting segregation of what needs to be present in times of working and not working.

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Allow Breaks – The most challenging part of working from home is giving importance to work breaks. Some people work for straight hours. And since they are at the convenience of their homes, they sometimes extend their working hours up late. It becomes a problem because it starts to interfere with their lives. But then some choose to work under time. These people have this mentality that since they have their office at home, they have all the time to finish their jobs at any time. Unfortunately, it creates a lot of stress and sometimes leads to other health complications.

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Having a work from home is a privilege. You can earn while on quarantine, and not everyone is allowed to do that. But be mindful. Make sure to cuff it off and stop working when you have to. Not because working becomes convenient, that does not mean you need to set aside your home duties.

Things You Learn From Your Married Life That You Often Ignore

 

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People think that marriage is about marrying the right person. However, it is much more than that. When things start to go wrong and their fairy tale seems to slip away, they devalue the significance of marriage and think that they accidentally married the wrong person.

 

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Relationships Are A Constant Work In Progress

Whether you know it or not, you and your partner communicate in a way that there is an exchange of responses from each other. It is a sense of doing things that make your partner react to something you do that also makes your counter and so on. The relationship usually creates a cycle of treatment that both of you have for each other. You two begin to build a pattern of habitual responses and actions over time. The change of behavior of one person can impact the behavior of the other, and that affects the entire relationship.

So when things try to change, and both couples make small to huge adjustments, the interaction and response also varies. When you try to become rude to your partner, therefore the response will also be the same. He will develop a coping mechanism that can instantly react to your adverse action. As for the positive side, when one of you acts positively, it will influence your partner to respond in the same manner as well.

Tips for a wife from Karen Ruskin, PsyD: “Giving your husband attention, she says, is powerfully addictive to him.”

 

Giving Too Much Is Not A Privilege

Too much of something is dangerous. You have to put boundaries in the activities that keep you healthy. You have to set your priorities straight and know the kind of marital relationship that you prefer. However, most couples fail to realize that the act of always agreeing to favors and requests is dangerous especially when it doesn’t support the balance of giving and take relationship.

Most couples are sometimes unaware of their habits, and because they want to achieve a happy marriage, they tend to become more open with their partners when it comes to their demands. However, it creates complication because when couples don’t feel the need to disagree on something, it means they are not developing in all aspects at all. It will trigger mental and physiological alterations that will hinder personal growth.

Fact: “Many couples confuse their loyalties and don’t set boundaries with their family and friends.” – Massey-Hastings, PsyD

 

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Taking Time Off When It’s Needed

It’s natural to feel the need for space when you and your spouse feel like crowding each other too much. Needing space doesn’t have to be a bad thing; it is a necessity that you and your significant other need so you can bring your mature self into the relationship. It will not only give you both a chance to cool down but also help in your marriage in any issue that you’re facing so you can put things into perspective. Sometimes, the only way to resolve your message is by allowing yourself to find your purpose.

You may think that you already understand how marriage needs to be and that you perfectly know how your married life needs to flow, but in reality, you don’t. Marriage is not something you can easily hold on to because it requires tons of effort and learning that could even last a lifetime. You need to experience a lot of heartaches, failures, and stresses before you can finally achieve that marital self-growth.

According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Couples thinking about marriage can often feel unsure about how to know if their relationship is strong enough to withstand the test of marriage. Knowing what to ask each other can be an important step in sorting through whether you are truly, long-lastingly compatible.”

The Value of FISH in Your Married Life (Focus, Inspiration, Self-worth, Hard Work)

 

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 Marriage is something that helps you in a lot of ways. It is useful in giving you the potential to know your capability and discover more from your personality. Sometimes, it allows you to become a better version of yourself due to the struggles and experiences that teach you to create positive things. Though not all married life lessons are great, it still gives you the chance to determine your purpose in life.

 

Focus

When you are married, you tend to understand your needs and wants. Therefore, you set achievable goals that are useful for your overall health. And because you want something that supports the growth of your spouse as well, you tend to focus on your responsibility on doing the right thing that positively helps him achieve for his well-being. You may experience unpredictable negative instances, but it still won’t stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

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Inspiration

When it comes to aiming for something, you develop a will to do things out of the ordinary and deliver it well. You even try to push your limits most of the times because you have the motivation. You value the kind of determination you have because you want to give appreciation to your marriage to be able to make it a place that you can feel safe and comfortable. Your inspiration will provide you with a reason to work hard for something beneficial not only for your personal development, but also for your partner’s positive mental, psychological, and behavioral aspects.

 

Self-worth

Working on the things that make you happy and satisfied with your marriage is somehow attainable when you tend to value your worth. Giving yourself the kind of love you deserve doesn’t mean you’re selfish but instead allowing yourself to have self-confidence. It only allows you to understand that you can never entirely get everything unless you are capable of giving. You tend to value your self-image, discover a new set of skills, appreciate the things you can do, and become a person that you have to be. In that sense, your self-worth matters because it helps you understand that the only way to love others is by loving yourself first.

 

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Here are some of the words that therapists have to say about self-worth:

  • Joyce Marter, LCPC: “Either in the morning or evening, journal about the issues that are preoccupying your mind.”
  • Elizabeth Cush, MA, LCPC: “It takes time to learn new things. Practice and patience are needed when working on improving self-esteem.”
  • Lisa Neuweg, LCPC: “While we don’t immediately undo or heal damaging beliefs or wounds, we can ease into honoring ourselves.”

Hard Work

Hard work tends to create a difference in all aspects of your married life. Even if you are valuing yourself, focusing on doing what you need to do, and having all the inspiration you need, these will all falter when you don’t work hard for it. Your goals and dreams are useless if you don’t work hard to attain all of it. When you try hard, you tend to enhance your physical, mental, and emotional, capabilities to avoid excuses.

You can benefit from online platforms like BetterHelp to improve your well-being. They also have a social media extension which makes it more accessible. Therefore, the opportunities matter as long as you strive to accomplish what you need to strengthen your married life. If you want to more about online counseling platforms, you check out what people are saying about it in this review.

Marriage can be a wonderful thing in a person’s life. Not only because you’ll have the chance to be with someone that you truly love, but also because it gives you a sense of purpose in living the kind of life you deserve. It is something that will keep you looking forward to the future.

Life Coaching: Look On The Brighter Side Of Marriage

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A crumbling marriage is inevitable especially when both parties are not working enough together to fix things between them. A simple marital argument can somehow turn into an idea of divorce if they both agree to stop thinking about the importance of their union. Sometimes, both partners tend to disregard the internal and external factors that affect their relationship and end up losing the interest in continuing the commitment. So in case, you’re one of the couples who tend to experience unfortunate marital situations, here are the things you can do to rebuild your relationship.

 

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Analyze Yourself In The Relationship And Create Progress

It is reasonable that both partners need to make changes to save the marriage. However, there will be a time that your spouse will completely give up on your relationship and you’ll have to be responsible for making sufficient changes that will save your commitment. It may take a while to see the results of those positive changes, but it will make your unhappy partner respond to your positive behavior and appreciate your effort in saving your relationship. Make the initial steps in turning your attitude that can make your spouse respond positively. Perhaps he will soon end up cooperating, fixing your marital issues over time.

 

Keep the romance alive at all times. According to Bridget Levy, LCPC, ““The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners,” said Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPCRomance doesn’t necessarily need to involve a dozen roses or a love poem.”

 

Remind Yourself About What You Are Working Towards Your Marriage

When it comes to marriage, you often know what you want in life and that brings you to the idea of keeping all the positive vibes within your commitment. To avoid conflicts and intense argument, try to break down the issue and create doable steps and begin tackling them one at a time. Think about your marriage as something that keeps both of you in a situation where only the two of you against the world. Look for things that make you appreciate each other and find particular reasons why you start building the marriage in the first place.

 

Take good care of your loved one, especially if he or she is going through stress and anxiety. Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPC said that “The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners.”

 

Revive The Intimacy, Try To Explore, And Allow New Ideas

You and your partner consider marriage because you have a strong connection. You use that connection to become one, and with that, you show how much you mean to each other.  Since intimacy is the first thing that suffers in a marriage when both couples tend to lose interest in their commitment, it is important that you consider bringing back the spark. You have to try and remove the tension from looking at stress as the source of connection and think about it as a driving tool that will make you complete each other. It doesn’t have to be a forceful act but rather a psychological affection that brings your marriage to life.

 

According to Julienne B. Derichs, LCPC, “It helps you learn how not to take things too personally, which is so helpful in any long-term relationship.”

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Be Committed And Let Go With The Grudges

There are tons of ups and downs on marriage that you and your partner can experience. Sometimes, some of them are emotionally and mentally stressful. But when you think about your spouse as someone who is giving you enough reasons to fight for the things you want in your marriage, you can at least let go of the grudges and leave the past behind. Eventually, you will see that forgiveness and appreciation are keys to keeping the commitment on its right path.

A relationship with someone you love is something that you want to achieve in life. You may not have the kind of perfect marriage that you desire, but your effort and commitment to saving it will eventually turn it into one.