The Value of FISH in Your Married Life (Focus, Inspiration, Self-worth, Hard Work)

 

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 Marriage is something that helps you in a lot of ways. It is useful in giving you the potential to know your capability and discover more from your personality. Sometimes, it allows you to become a better version of yourself due to the struggles and experiences that teach you to create positive things. Though not all married life lessons are great, it still gives you the chance to determine your purpose in life.

 

Focus

When you are married, you tend to understand your needs and wants. Therefore, you set achievable goals that are useful for your overall health. And because you want something that supports the growth of your spouse as well, you tend to focus on your responsibility on doing the right thing that positively helps him achieve for his well-being. You may experience unpredictable negative instances, but it still won’t stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

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Inspiration

When it comes to aiming for something, you develop a will to do things out of the ordinary and deliver it well. You even try to push your limits most of the times because you have the motivation. You value the kind of determination you have because you want to give appreciation to your marriage to be able to make it a place that you can feel safe and comfortable. Your inspiration will provide you with a reason to work hard for something beneficial not only for your personal development, but also for your partner’s positive mental, psychological, and behavioral aspects.

 

Self-worth

Working on the things that make you happy and satisfied with your marriage is somehow attainable when you tend to value your worth. Giving yourself the kind of love you deserve doesn’t mean you’re selfish but instead allowing yourself to have self-confidence. It only allows you to understand that you can never entirely get everything unless you are capable of giving. You tend to value your self-image, discover a new set of skills, appreciate the things you can do, and become a person that you have to be. In that sense, your self-worth matters because it helps you understand that the only way to love others is by loving yourself first.

 

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Here are some of the words that therapists have to say about self-worth:

  • Joyce Marter, LCPC: “Either in the morning or evening, journal about the issues that are preoccupying your mind.”
  • Elizabeth Cush, MA, LCPC: “It takes time to learn new things. Practice and patience are needed when working on improving self-esteem.”
  • Lisa Neuweg, LCPC: “While we don’t immediately undo or heal damaging beliefs or wounds, we can ease into honoring ourselves.”

Hard Work

Hard work tends to create a difference in all aspects of your married life. Even if you are valuing yourself, focusing on doing what you need to do, and having all the inspiration you need, these will all falter when you don’t work hard for it. Your goals and dreams are useless if you don’t work hard to attain all of it. When you try hard, you tend to enhance your physical, mental, and emotional, capabilities to avoid excuses.

You can benefit from online platforms like BetterHelp to improve your well-being. They also have a social media extension which makes it more accessible. Therefore, the opportunities matter as long as you strive to accomplish what you need to strengthen your married life. If you want to more about online counseling platforms, you check out what people are saying about it in this review.

Marriage can be a wonderful thing in a person’s life. Not only because you’ll have the chance to be with someone that you truly love, but also because it gives you a sense of purpose in living the kind of life you deserve. It is something that will keep you looking forward to the future.

Life Coaching: Look On The Brighter Side Of Marriage

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A crumbling marriage is inevitable especially when both parties are not working enough together to fix things between them. A simple marital argument can somehow turn into an idea of divorce if they both agree to stop thinking about the importance of their union. Sometimes, both partners tend to disregard the internal and external factors that affect their relationship and end up losing the interest in continuing the commitment. So in case, you’re one of the couples who tend to experience unfortunate marital situations, here are the things you can do to rebuild your relationship.

 

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Analyze Yourself In The Relationship And Create Progress

It is reasonable that both partners need to make changes to save the marriage. However, there will be a time that your spouse will completely give up on your relationship and you’ll have to be responsible for making sufficient changes that will save your commitment. It may take a while to see the results of those positive changes, but it will make your unhappy partner respond to your positive behavior and appreciate your effort in saving your relationship. Make the initial steps in turning your attitude that can make your spouse respond positively. Perhaps he will soon end up cooperating, fixing your marital issues over time.

 

Keep the romance alive at all times. According to Bridget Levy, LCPC, ““The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners,” said Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPCRomance doesn’t necessarily need to involve a dozen roses or a love poem.”

 

Remind Yourself About What You Are Working Towards Your Marriage

When it comes to marriage, you often know what you want in life and that brings you to the idea of keeping all the positive vibes within your commitment. To avoid conflicts and intense argument, try to break down the issue and create doable steps and begin tackling them one at a time. Think about your marriage as something that keeps both of you in a situation where only the two of you against the world. Look for things that make you appreciate each other and find particular reasons why you start building the marriage in the first place.

 

Take good care of your loved one, especially if he or she is going through stress and anxiety. Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPC said that “The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners.”

 

Revive The Intimacy, Try To Explore, And Allow New Ideas

You and your partner consider marriage because you have a strong connection. You use that connection to become one, and with that, you show how much you mean to each other.  Since intimacy is the first thing that suffers in a marriage when both couples tend to lose interest in their commitment, it is important that you consider bringing back the spark. You have to try and remove the tension from looking at stress as the source of connection and think about it as a driving tool that will make you complete each other. It doesn’t have to be a forceful act but rather a psychological affection that brings your marriage to life.

 

According to Julienne B. Derichs, LCPC, “It helps you learn how not to take things too personally, which is so helpful in any long-term relationship.”

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Be Committed And Let Go With The Grudges

There are tons of ups and downs on marriage that you and your partner can experience. Sometimes, some of them are emotionally and mentally stressful. But when you think about your spouse as someone who is giving you enough reasons to fight for the things you want in your marriage, you can at least let go of the grudges and leave the past behind. Eventually, you will see that forgiveness and appreciation are keys to keeping the commitment on its right path.

A relationship with someone you love is something that you want to achieve in life. You may not have the kind of perfect marriage that you desire, but your effort and commitment to saving it will eventually turn it into one.

How To Deal With Stress (A Marital Journey)

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Marriage is a bond that requires both you and your partner’s cooperation. When one or both of you can’t seem to handle the situation, there are better options that you can follow so you can continue the course of staying together. There’s no perfect relationship, and everyone handles stress differently. So if you and your significant other are experiencing tons of stressful stuff, you can check out these reminders for a practical marital solution.

Fact: “Another indicator of burnout in clients and counselors can include feeling a perpetual sense of self-disappointment — that no matter what you do, you are always falling short.” says Erin M. West, LPC.

Sex Is Not A Definition Of Love – The kind of stress that you might feel when there’s a lack of sexual intimacy is common in every marriage. It sometimes makes you think that both of you are starting to drift apart. You tend to assume that your physical connection becomes an issue because the two of you tend to focus on the act itself. Though it is understandable that attraction and pleasurable sexual intercourse is a priority in every marriage, it still does not support the idea of love but merely just a factor that connects the both of you in the physical and emotional aspect.

 

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Practice Individual Self-Care – You and your partner are prone to relationship destructions. When one of you tends to stop caring for yourselves, the rate of stress can elevate to a much higher level. From this point, both of you will struggle to see the importance of taking care of one another. You need to understand that relationships don’t stand on their own and require both your contributions. Therefore, when you can’t seem to show self-care, it will be less likely that you can provide care for others.

Rhonda Williams, Ed.D., LPC, NCC said “It has been said that self-care is not a luxury but an ethical mandate.”

Don’t Play With Time – Struggling to have time for everything is a battle you encounter in your relationship almost every day. It is stressful because it affects a lot of things such as communication, bond, behavior, and personal development. So to make your relationship work, you need to manage time wisely. Don’t allow it to decide for your future because it doesn’t stop to support you. Both of you must be ready to prioritize solutions whenever you think that it’s momentarily needed.

Focus On Your Shared Needs – Stress is exhausting, and when you don’t pay attention to your needs, it will be impossible for you to understand self-healing. The only thing that can make you keep track of your marital situation is by knowing the things that keep you and your partner together. When you ignore listening to your emotional, psychological, and behavioral aspects, you’re making it hard for your marriage to continue its course to happiness. You need to put your mind, body, and soul in one place so you can focus on attaining benefits for both your well-being.

 

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Avoid Too Many Assumptions – Your thoughts matter. And when they’re out of control, your thoughts can cause fatal destruction to your marriage. In most situations, those assumptions can give you a wide variety of stresses that can ruin both your health and relationship. Therefore, don’t try to take ALL things seriously and avoid creating meanings on your significant other’s verbal or physical behavior.

According to Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC, “We might experience stress when we fear that we don’t have the right resources to accomplish a task.”

When it comes to the relationship, there are tons of stresses out there that you can probably imagine to experience. But when you know how to deal with them even in simple ways, there’s a slight chance that you can somehow save your relationship.

How To Attain Marital Fulfillment

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According to Judy Herman, LPC-MHSP, “One thing you must know about marital growth is this. There’s a difference between closeness and intimacy.”

Being married to someone you love is already a fulfillment, but it doesn’t mean that you have to stop learning things together. Your marriage is the source of your happiness, so it also needs to be the factor that supports your personal growth in life. So how can you say that your marriage makes you complete? Here are the things that you need to know.

Learn How To Communicate

Though communication is always an important factor in a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to talk to each other. Sometimes, it is the idea of knowing when your partner needs space. It is when you put in mind that gesture and physical touch are also a form of communication. As long as you understand each other’s needs, then you know that you have that strong connection that doesn’t require talking.

Go On Dates

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should stop having fun together. The truth is that married life requires more adventure compared to the dating stage because it helps in strengthening the bond that’s already there. When both of you decide to try different things, it will develop your sense of appreciation towards each other. Moreover, it will allow you to discover new things about your partner along the way.

 

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Stick Up For Each Other

Everything about your relationship comes from both your contributions. You don’t make decisions alone and work on marital issues separately. Your marriage makes you a team, so you’ve got to act like it. You need to value each other’s role in keeping your relationship. Don’t try to pull each other down especially in front of others and always make sure that you have each other’s back through thick and thin.

Learn To Apologize

Say it as you mean it when you’re apologizing. Disregard your pride and ask for forgiveness because there are no shortcuts in attaining peace in a relationship. Both of you should realize that accepting your mistakes is the only way towards understanding and apologizing is an essential factor for forgiveness. However, you must remember that apologizing is not enough, so you still need to work on things that help the situation to become better.

Don’t Hold Grudges

When you try to forgive your spouse, don’t ever hold grudges. Don’t look at their mistakes as a tool that you can use against them only to win an argument. You need to forgive and immediately forget everything to avoid a bitter relationship. From there, you can work on your perspective and manage your differences accordingly.

Show Affection

Showing your love towards your spouse doesn’t always have to be a physical connection. There will be that one thing that can make you understand each other’s affection. Try to figure out a love-language that you can use to ideally tell each other how much he or she contributes to your life. A small gesture such as flying kiss, wink, and love letters are somehow practical ways.

Be hopeful at all times. Joanne Ketch, LPC, LMFT said “Families can be a rich source of love, support, and motivation.”

Don’t Change Your Spouse

The only reason why you shouldn’t change your spouse is that you can never do it. Changing someone else is impossible. The only thing you can do is value your partner’s personality and understand him or her in every way. You need to accept all his or her imperfections and encourage positive adjustments.

 

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Avoid Focusing On Too Much Happiness

Happiness is something you and your spouse should aim in a relationship. However, focusing too much on wanting a perfect marriage is toxic. You need to consider acknowledging the fact that your happiness comes from learning to put one’s needs above yours. It’s the only way that you can understand what real satisfaction is all about.

Your marriage is essential in your personal growth. Therefore, when you understand that your connection requires effort to make it work, then you’ll never question the kind of relationship you have.

Did you know? According to Jeffrey Kaplan, MA, LMFT, “Therapists who are licensed in their state to do couples therapeutic work must follow a canon of ethics that is strictly laid out as a part of their licensure.” This is one of the considerations that you must look into if you decide to seek professional help.

 

Therapy Guides On Personal Development – How To Build A Better Version Of You

As an individual, you have these unique characteristics that best describe you as a person and most of the times you are aware of what your personality says about you. However, we’re expected to make efforts in all kinds of areas to improve ourselves not just for the things that we can offer others but also for our development.

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Psychiatry: The Psychology Of Personal Development

In psychiatry, they often talk about a person’s mental illness that affects the emotional status and psychological function. They frequently use method and approach in dealing with an individual’s daily stressors and work on ways to help them cope up with anxiety and depression. We know that psychiatry can contribute a lot to our personal growth. However, are we confident that we are fully informed about the psychology of personal development? How do you think it affects us?

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Counseling Through Adventures

Counseling based adventure is a type of counseling therapy which involves various experiential activities in the form of traveling or adventure. Most of these activities are done outdoors which may include camping, hiking, rock climbing, mountain trekking, sailing, and other cooperative activities. The exercises will benefit the participants in various ways. It will help them to explore their personal matters in a safe and encouraging environment with the help of mental health experts. 

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Tips On Encouraging Your Spouse To Change For The Better

 

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Marriage is so beautiful and sweet that it’s a total bummer to hear about couples who go after each other’s neck in front of a judge during divorce proceedings. Gone are the precious moments together, the times when they just separate to attend to the call of nature or go to work. All that’s left is dissatisfaction, anger, and quite often, a sense of betrayal.

What gives, you may ask? Well, partners are aware from the get-go that they have differences. It just becomes a hindrance to their mutual happiness when the spouse cannot cut out habits that may damage the relationship, e.g., smoking, drinking, gambling, procrastinating, etc. It can also be problematic if your partner is depressed. According to Deborah Serani, Psy.D, “Depression often distorts thinking, making a once-confident person feel insecure, negative and self-loathing.”

If you’re going through this dilemma, you can get the help of a marriage counselor to mend the issues, for sure. The problem is, one can only do so much to guide you both. In the long run, you – the significant other – need to do the encouraging the most so that they’ll want to change for the better.

Below are some insightful tips on how you can succeed in this task.

 

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  1. Know Their Thoughts

You can’t get anywhere if, in the first place, you are not truly familiar with what causes them to act worryingly. Hence, asking questions should be your initial goal. Just try to do it in a calm, non-judgmental tone so that your better half won’t think twice about opening up to you.

 

  1. Unplug From The Internet When Together

Being a techy person is only useful when you’re finishing a project, or you want to look for a recipe. After that, you should stay offline and concentrate on your spouse. There are a lot of activities you can do without the internet that can strengthen your relationship, such as playing board games, cooking, and dancing the horizontal tango. The more quality time you spend with each other, the more reasons he or she will have to improve their mindset.

 

  1. Offer A Hug Often

One may assume that sex is the most intimate thing for a couple, yet nothing beats a warm hug every day. Staying enveloped in your partner’s arms for a full minute, even if you don’t speak, can transmit positive emotions toward their heart. He or she may then want to make progress in his or her life for the benefit of your marriage.

 

  1. Compliment Achievements

Rather than acting like a drill sergeant, you need to be your spouse’s cheerleader. They will get extra motivation once they hear from you that they are doing well. Despite that, don’t overpraise them because they might think there’s no more room for improvement.

 

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  1. Recall Great, Old Stories

When things are getting blue between you two, pull out any memento you’ve kept since you started dating until now that you’re married. Inspect them together and remember the happy memories you’ve made over the years. It may not take long before the spouse says, “What happened to us?” Then, you will ideally talk about your indifference and work on fixing it by yourselves. Yana Dubinsky, Psy.D said “When a couple stands in front of friends and family on their wedding day, they promise to love each other ‘til death do us part.’ If love were a feeling, how can we make a promise about how we will feel in 20, 30, 50 years?”

 

You may also need to consider going to therapy. According to Joanne Ketch, LPC, LMFT, “Marriage and family therapists provide solution- and goal-oriented counseling.”

 

 

How To Have A Sharp Memory For As Long As Possible

 

 

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If you create a poll and let people choose whether they want to have a lasting beauty or memory, many of them may lean towards the latter option. It is a no-brainer since our skin will naturally sag – you only need to wait for a matter of time for gravity or collagen loss to make a move. Botox, facial lift, and other enhancement services have limitations too when it comes to helping you seem younger than your age.

On the other hand, having a sharp memory lets you accomplish more in comparison with someone who forgets things a lot. You can remember names, dates, or events even when you don’t have your planner. You get to recall the fantastic moments that occurred in your life and draw happiness from them decades later.

A common belief, however, is that your retention ability declines as the leaves of a calendar change. Although it happens, some octogenarians have a better recollection than the current millennials since the former individuals take care of their memory. If you want to find out how they do that, below are some points to remember.

 

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  1. Organize

The initial advice is to get rid of all the habits or objects that distract you from have a peace of mind. Otherwise, your thoughts will stay jumbled, and you may overlook ideas that are far more important than the rest, such as your parents’ birthdays, your wedding anniversary, etc.

Feel free to start with your work desk or house. Throw away or donate the items you don’t need so that there’s less disorder in your line of vision. Then, organize your schedule and let go of activities that don’t honestly make you happy.

 

  1. Exercise Physically And Mentally

Working out the body is as significant as working out the brain. The more cardiovascular exercises you do on a daily basis, the easier it can be to hold on to your memories for long. During your downtime, you can also solve puzzles, answer TV show quiz games, and pick up a new interest. Meditation is an excellent activity as well because it helps calm your senses and strengthen the mind.

“Moderate exercise has been shown to have a significant effect on anxiety and mood,” said Marla Deibler, PsyD.

You can also seek online counseling from platforms like BetterHelp to know which activity can help your well-being most.

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  1. Meet People

In case you see seniors who rarely come to gatherings because they think they’re too old for socializing, it won’t be surprising if they develop memory loss. The reason is that constant interaction with both children and grownups allows the bolts in your brain to keep on turning. They can share the latest trends and reminisce about the past with you too, respectively, so that your thoughts will always be intact. According to Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, “Whenever we are trying to break a habit we will feel down at first. We’re getting uncomfortable and our brains are being rewired.”

 

  1. Stay Sober

Your head remains clutter-free when you don’t drink, smoke, and do drugs altogether. The ingredients in all these substances can alter your brain function for the worse. Aside from most likely losing your money and performing dumb stunts that no sober person will ever try, they can short-circuit your memory and become a handicap to various aspects of life.

If you’re having a hard time staying sober, you can seek online counseling. It would make a huge difference to get professional help for a case like this.

 

  1. Be Healthy

It isn’t just mothers who appear to have a weak recollection; even folks who take a lot of medication to regulate their diseases also experience it. To avoid that, you should then take care of your body and stick to a healthy diet. Stop harboring stress too – that can make you forgetful before you hit the50s or 60s.

 

Always remember to avoid stress at all times, unless it is eustress. According to Dr. Kara Fasone, PSYD, “Eustress is all about sufficiently challenging yourself without expending all your resources. This type of stress empowers you to grow.”

Ways To Become The Ultimate Cheerleader For Yourself

 

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According to Colleen Mullen, PsyD, “People can’t think their way out of depression. Depression has nothing to do with having bad days or not having enough good things in one’s life.”

A lot of incidences can bring your mood down and prevent you from reaching new heights these days. Jam-packed traffic is one of them, especially if that’s what’s greeting you day and night. Annoying colleagues who think they know better than you can be a part of that list too, for sure. And on top of all that, there’s your name in big, bold letters.

The latter should make some sense because we tend to critique ourselves too hard, assuming it’s impossible to push past our limits. Therefore, the outcome is rarely favorable for you, your career, and various aspects of your life.

In case you wish to lessen the judging, just try to become the ultimate cheerleader for yourself. The steps aren’t always challenging, you know. Here are the ways to develop this character.

 

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  1. Stop Waiting For Luck Or Others’ Affirmation

As a person living a mundane life. You need to remember to do things for yourself. It isn’t wise to wait for people to utter how wonderful your work is or compliment your physical changes. Similarly, you can’t leave your fate to something as fickle as luck to feel happy.

 

  1. Appreciate All Facets Of Yourself

How boring your days will be if you can only see your beautiful side. Although it’s true that noticing the goodness in you is an essential recipe for a non-fluctuating confidence level, pay attention also to your not-so-great sides, such as clumsiness, forgetfulness, etc. This way, you’re aware of the facets that require an extra boost to improve.

 

Deborah Serani, PSYD said “The experience of depression is one where you feel things intensely, so talking in the first person, using me, I, myself, is a common experience.”

 

  1. Stay Down To Earth

An excellent cheerleader cheers himself or herself up, but never will you bring others down. The trait has much to do with your humility. Watching your peers fail as you succeed doesn’t make you want to sneer at them. Deep inside, you know that the world is round, and you may instantly be in their position once karma strikes.

 

  1. Retreat To Your Comfort Zone Anytime

In case things seem bleak in your life, don’t hesitate to return to your comfort zone. That can mean your childhood home, the apartment you now have, or even a workshop where you often hang out. It is – and will forever be – the place where you feel safe to let all your emotions go and just be yourself. By the time you’re ready to step back to reality, do it with a calm heart and a huge grin on your face.

 

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  1. Never Put Yourself Down

A common mistake of successful folks when people praise their work is saying, “Oh, I didn’t do much. I’m merely lucky to be there.” The logic behind the reaction is that they don’t wish to sound arrogant, which is noteworthy. However, you genuinely did something unusual with your time and effort, so try not to downsize your achievements. That’s among the ways to become the ultimate cheerleader for yourself, FYI.

 

  1. Do What You Say

Finally, telling your reflection in the mirror that you’ll do better in general today isn’t enough to liven up your spirit. You should complement your words with actions so that you’ll see improvement sooner than later.

 

 

Take note of these words from Ron Siegel, PsyD.: “Why do I dwell always expecting fear and dread? What if I subdue that fear and dread, keeping the same posture that I’m in when it comes upon me? While I walked, the fear and dread came upon me. I neither stood, nor sat, nor lay down until I had subdued that fear and dread.”