The number of times you fall never matter, for it’s how many times you get yourself up is what counts.
We will all have our taste of failure at some point in our lives. Some might fail a subject or two while in school, others might fail in their first business ventures, and there are those with failed relationships. But wherever we failed at, it’s an opportunity for us to learn and grow.
The Mindset Should Be Never Give Up
Many tend to give up their dreams when they taste failure. But others choose to bounce back and be better.
How we think about failure dictates our success. If you take failure as the end of the road for you, then you’ll end up a loser. You’ll just give up everything you worked hard for, and choose a much easier path. Where do you think the road that makes you feel safer and would not get hurt by failure again would lead you?
A winner’s mindset is never giving up no matter what. For such person, failure is just a bump on the road. It’s part of the journey. And being able to pass beyond that is a taste of success. The wound and pain don’t matter much for he is focused on the result of the knowledge and growth that comes with each trial.
Leslie Bautista, PsyD, says “To do it responsibly, you always have to consider who are the most important to you-whether your spouse, partner or children or whoever will be impacted by what you do with your life.”
Push Yourself To The Limit
It’s always more comfortable and safer to stay in your comfort zone. But don’t you think that’s boring. You may free yourself from failure, but you are also depriving yourself of opportunities to become a better person. You’ll never reach your destination if you do not push yourself to take the steps forward to get there.
Pushing yourself to be your best is not about being hard on yourself, but instead believing that you can do it.
Not because you fail means there’s nothing better you can do. There’s more potential in you. You just need to keep going to discover what it is and believe in your strengths.
According to Erin McKee, PsyD, “The bottom line: there is hope and you can heal.”
The Road With No Obstacle Is Road To Nowhere
Ask every successful man you know if they didn’t commit any mistakes? For sure, they do even once. And they inevitably learn something from that wrong thing or decision they’ve done.
Don’t be disheartened when you happen to get things wrong, that’s an expected part of learning. Obstacles are laid on the way not to bury you in the depression of worries and anxiety, but to allow you to exercise your mind and enrich yourself.
Mistakes and failures are the best teachers you could ever have. So, be wary if the path you’re traveling has no obstacles waiting for you. It means life is not teaching you any lesson. And there’s no point to be there. There’s no reason to go on because there’s nothing but empty road ahead.
Are You Not Excited To See What Awaits You At The End Of The Road
Challenges and trials in life are what makes the journey worthwhile. It dares you how much you can endure, questioning your strength and perseverance.
Are you not curious what’s waiting for you at the end of the road? What’s behind those tall mountains waiting for you to climb? What’s beyond the dark clouds of doubts?
Life is challenging you to rise again and again and accept the challenge until you see the end of the road you choose to take.
Tip from Joseph Rock, PsyD: Try self-help or talking to a professional to see if a course-correction is possible.
Stress, stress, and more stress. Nobody wants to deal with it. We hope to get rid of it forever. However, history can tell that stress returns because you tend to leave the doors (a.k.a. your mind and ears) open.
For example, when you hear from the right-side neighbor that the left-side neighbor talks behind your back, you get angry. If one of your teammates can’t do their share of work, you finish it with a heavy heart. You manage to harbor a lot of emotions that cause S-T-R-E-S-S.
Do you realize the issue now? Well, here are more problem-inducing things you shouldn’t be doing if you hate stress with a passion.
According to Nancy Goldov, PsyD, “Americans are more likely to report feeling the effects of stress in this year’s survey than they did in the prior year.”
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A lot of gamers, workaholics, and social media users are guilty of this matter. It’s either you can’t afford to leave the game, the unfinished projects, or the online world for the sake of rest. Even if you can sleep in the morning, the outcome is different from when you doze off at night. Thus, stress can take place.
Alicia H. Clark, PsyD said “Stress is an invitation to change, and maybe even a nudge. When demands for change cause pressure on our resources, stress is felt, which creates discomfort and a pressure to reduce it.”
Say ‘Yes’ To Everything
In case you don’t decline requests from anybody, although you know it’ll put much pressure on you, that’s bad. We understand that you probably just don’t wish to disappoint the people around you by saying ‘no’ to them. But if you don’t start doing it soon, you’ll absorb their worries and feel toxic.
Become A TV Addict
Watching shows on the television is a quick diversion tactic to take your mind off things. It turns into a huge problem, though, in case that’s all you want to accomplish for days. You forget your obligations and cram to finish them as the deadline comes closer than ever. That too results in stress.
Allow People To Cause Troubles
It is bothersome indeed to let a subordinate slack off or chat about non-work-related stuff and not reprimand them. Should you have the same job post as they do, just remind them once to stop and pay no attention. In case you’re the boss, and they still don’t listen, you can directly send a memo or find more-professional employees.
Live Too Freely
Ever heard of YOLO? Many individuals grasp that statement too much and choose YOLO-worthy experiences over the ones that’ll give them financial freedom, among others. They lose their sense of structure, therefore, and become stressed out as soon as they return to reality. This issue should have avoided if they scheduled the events well.
Work Without Pausing
You want to establish your value in the company – and, in the process, the society – so you work harder than anyone. The compliments and honors may fall on your lap afterward take a breather, Mr./Ms. Overachiever – your body needs it.
Eat Only When You Remember
Often, eating goes to the bottom of priorities of someone who is too busy. Some, believe it or not, go as far as consuming one meal a day, and that doesn’t even consist of healthy choices. Your exhaustion and lack of nutrient sources will give you stress, without a doubt.
Love yourself, will you? Love your body more than work, toys, gossips, or TV, because it’s irreplaceable and sometimes irreparable. If you can just do it on a daily basis, you may be able to avoid stress better.
Financial freedom gets a unique definition from every person you ask about it, but they all mean the same thing. You want to leave work without worrying about your expenses for years. You wish to travel the world without thinking if you’ll have enough cash for food after the trip.
Question is, is it attainable for people who don’t hold executive positions or aren’t born with money? The path may be a bit rocky, but yes, having financial independence regardless of your occupation is possible. Here are the tips on how to achieve it.
According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Working effectively with stress requires taking control of our responsibility and our attitude.”
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Limit Your Wants
You must be aware of some individuals who always have to own the latest makeup, gadgets, and fashionable pieces. Maybe you are one of them too. This is quite reasonable in case you make dollars off these items. If they were purchased out of whim, though, and you don’t have millions in the bank, then it isn’t alright.
There’s a fine line between wants and needs that you should refrain from crossing whenever you please. A house is an example of the latter, and you do need it in your life. The ones mentioned above, meanwhile, are objects you can live without. Besides, the value of a property increases over time – something you can’t expect from bling.
Should you already have a home, stop yourself from following your materialistic desires too much. That can help you gain financial freedom.
Avoid Being Pulled To Overspend
Saving your hard-earned money when there are so many items you want to buy is quite hard. The task becomes even more complicated if someone you’re close to often urges you to eat in a fancy restaurant, go shopping, or book a trip.
Although it’s not important for us to find out who they are, you should be able to pinpoint them. As chummy as you may be together, they can’t actually assist you in securing your finances. In case you can’t say no to them, you can at least minimize the time you spend with these people.
Improve Your Thoughts Regarding Saving Money
There are folks who spend as much as they earn, claiming that they deserve to use their dollars while they’re still alive. It is an acceptable sentiment, of course. However, you can’t be part of the workforce forever. Limitations will sneak up to you in the form of age or health conditions, and those are what you have to prepare for.
If the idea of saving isn’t too appealing for you, you can say you are paying yourself. It feels good to know you’ll receive money when the paycheck comes, doesn’t it?
Kirsten Brunner, MA, LPC, a perinatal mental health and relationship expert, views self-care as “any activity or choice that allows a person to replenish, rejuvenate or reserve energy.” It is about prioritizing our needs so we can be “fully present when caring for or connecting with others.”
Want To Have Financial Independence?
Do you remember the last time you worked so hard to fulfill a dream? You know how difficult that phase of your life may have been, and yet you pushed through the obstacles to succeed in it.
That is the same feeling that you ought to have towards financial freedom. It won’t be easy-peasy for everyone because we’ve got different stuff to spend for. Some also earn six figures, whereas others barely obtain enough to pay for their expenditures.
Nevertheless, saving cash to attain financial security is very doable once you make the accurate choices. Decide on the matters that you don’t really need to spend on, and then drop them.
The first step in the direction of any goal is always the most bothersome to take. When you take a leap, however, you’ll realize that you did the right thing. Good luck!
“Confidentiality is important for people in therapy to be able to form a trusting relationship with their therapist.” – Jeffrey Kaplan, MA, LMFT
When adults give lectures to the youth, they often suggest seeking a job in an industry where your talents can flourish. This way, your workplace becomes more of a playground to exercise your craft. But if you already followed that advice, you know there are still possibilities for the work to burn you and your passion out.
That is never a helpful sign since it can poorly affect your performance. Check out the ways to remain fulfilled at work.
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Get positive vibes going
Positivity begins within yourself. Some coaches may tell you that it’s something to receive from energetic folks around you. Yet, in reality, they can’t affect your mood that much in case you don’t have a similar attitude.
Start the day by uttering words of appreciation and encouragement, for instance. The statements you voice out hold a lot of power toward how the events in your life will unfold. If you’re grumpy as soon as you hop in the car and say your morning “sucks”, it may truly suck.
Being positive in front of various issues isn’t a piece of cake, but it’s super doable once you practice positivity daily.
TRIVIA: Studies show that women with children are much more likely to drop off the tenure track than male colleagues. – Michelle B. Moore, PsyD
Segregate your thoughts
For sure, your existence does not only revolve around your work. You may have a family, friends or children that can influence your outlook on life. It’s all good when they cheer you up and motivate you to perform well in the workplace. Once a rift in any of your relationships takes place, however, the job may suffer too.
The latter won’t happen if you learn how to leave personal or business problems at home or office, respectively. Again, that may be difficult, especially if you’re a naturally emotional individual. You’ll have to try, though, so that the issues won’t transform into a domino effect and destroy all your opportunities.
According to Sandra Lewis, PsyD, “People focus a lot on time management, but I think in terms of personal energy management. If you have enough energy, you make better use of your time.”
Bond with colleagues
No matter how much of a rockstar you are at work, you can’t truly remain fulfilled if there are folks in the office you can’t talk to. That kind of a place is like a community where everyone should treat each other as family. And you don’t simply pass by a family member in the hallway. You talk to them, ask how they are, and catch up with their lives.
Accomplishing this task won’t be hard even if you are the newbie. Invite them to eat lunch or get coffee with you, go to group dinners, and have a bright smile prepared for all. Soon enough, you’ll be friends with these people.
Look for inspiration
It’s definitely a struggle to remain fulfilled at work when you’re basically among the best players there. You achieved more than what the others were able to, so what else is there to challenge yourself with? Nevertheless, you can’t wait for others to motivate you – seek it on your own.
That can mean taking on a bigger role or accepting more complex projects. Whatever it is, as long as it inspires you to go to the workplace with a light heart, it will be great.
Ari Tuckman, PsyD said “The line between work and play becomes much blurrier and it’s easy to talk oneself into justifying some work activity as being somewhat a ‘fun’ activity.”
Personal growth is – or was – never something that you acquire because you hit a specific age. There are folks in their 30s or 50s whose actions make you doubt if they’re truly adults, and they’re supposed to be the epitome of being a grownup. No, personal growth is a process that you will continuously go through to improve the emotional, physical, and emotional facets of your life. You can read more from petersplaceonline.org/.
Ashley Thorn, LMFT said “Self-care refers to healthy things, in any aspect of your life, that ‘fill your cup. These are things that make you feel focused, calm, happy, and true to yourself.”
There are phases involved in it, but solely you can tell at which stage you currently are. Learn more about them below.
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Phase 1: Arising
Personal growth begins as soon as you realize the things you are both capable and incapable of. It cannot take place if you remain ignorant of your own weaknesses and strengths. In that case, you’ll have no idea where you’re standing.
Awaken from that deep slumber to be able to identify the limitations you’ve set for yourself up until this moment.
Phase 2: Finding Direction
After becoming attuned to what you can or can’t do, ask yourself this question: “Where do I see myself in the future?”
Do you want a bachelor’s degree? Is it alright for you to remain in that position at work, or would you like to receive a promotion? There’s no wrong answer, to be honest because you have every right to be whatever you wish to be. Consider setting short- and long-term goals so that you know where to put your best efforts.
“Self-love is — at its core — the unshakable, uncompromising belief that we are worthy of love, respect, safety, and belonging, regardless of our thoughts, feelings, or actions.” – Arianna Smith, LPC, EMDR
Phase 3: Analyzing
The third stage requires you to assess your surrounding and find out what or who to gain inspiration from.
There are definitely other people who created and accomplished objectives that are similar to yours. Regardless, you shouldn’t be lured into following in their footsteps blindly, assuming you’ll get the same results. No one can tell that for sure based on others’ achievements. You have to look at all aspects of life before making any decision that can alter your existence forever.
Phase 4: Changing
At this point, you possess the proper gears to work toward your goals. Get rid of the old habits
Phase 5: Accepting
Part of growing as an individual is accepting that you’ll make decisions along the way that you can’t always be proud of. Not all of them (hopefully), yet some may set you back and rethink if you should continue or not. Despite that, the more positive reaction is to stand back up, never repeat your mistakes, and keep on pushing forward.
In the End
“One of the most challenging types of love to develop is self-love.” – Alicia Munoz, LPC
Expressing your angry feelings from time to time is healthy. It allows you to release all the bottled-up emotions that may consume your brain and break relationships later on.
Ideally speaking, when you do that, you also remove the barriers to happiness. But the good vibes won’t still affect your mood if you’re often angry about even the littlest things. That’s already a disorder, mind you.
Nicholette Leanza, LPCC-S said “Our brains are amazing! With the discovery of neuroplasticity and neurogenesis, we know that our brains can change their neural structure and make new neurons.”
Here are some ways to manage your anger issues.
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- Understand the signals.
The signs that an angry outburst is coming on is different for every person. Some feel their shoulder muscles tense up; others get a headache or tighten their fists. You need to recognize what those signals are in your case so that you can diffuse the emotion without harming anyone.
- Lower your stress levels.
The ultimate source of anger is stress. When you have multiple deadlines to meet in a single day, and one teammate performs poorly, that’s like pulling the pin out of a grenade. Before your rage explodes, ensure to organize your time to prevent activities from overlapping.
According to Rebecca Frank MA, LPCC, NCC, “”Your breath controls your heart rate, blood pressure, and your body’s response to stress.”
- Count before you act.
Counting from 1 through 10 is a helpful way of managing your anger. That period may be short, yet it allows you to think of your next move instead of lashing out immediately. It can save you as well from giving statements you’ll feel sorry for.
- Reconstruct ideas.
justify emotions with definitive words on a daily basis, which is not fun.
- Solve issues on your own.
You get furious towards another individual when he or she does not live up to your expectations. It’s understandable in case they claimed that task but don’t deliver. However, should you have the time and the capability to perform the job, we suggest you do it by yourself.
- Take a break.
Whenever you are about to yell at someone or have the itch to flip the table, get up and move away for a bit. You shouldn’t tell them to leave you alone in the room because staying in the same environment won’t dissipate your anger. Instead, breathe in the fresh air outside, take a sip of water, or grab a snack. Once your emotions have calmed down, return to your post and resume the work.
Alexandra Smith, LPCC said “Anger also deserves credit for providing a proverbial kick in the butt, especially in comparison to the paralyzing effect of other negative emotions.”
- Let go of ill feelings.
In truth, it seems difficult to manage your anger issues if you still remember the incidents that made you feel that way. For that reason, you need to learn to forgive people who did you wrong and forget activities that upset you.
- Communicate well.
The worst thing you can do is become angry over nothing. You’ll be able to thwart that situation when you take in all the facts first before assessing how you should react.
Try one of these ways, and you may see an improvement in yourself. Follow through with all the tips above, and your anger issues may completely dissolve. Good luck!
“Are you a worrier? Are you angry a lot? Paying attention to what we think about most enables us to identify where our brain wiring may be faulty and unhealthy.” – Nicholette Leanza, LPCC-S
Claiming that you’re happy is as comfortable as telling everyone that you’re okay. Sometimes it’s true, and you do feel like the king (or queen) of the world. Other times, the words may just roll out of your tongue on automatic, knowing that’s what people want to hear. But if you’re still at crossroads about it, how can you honestly say that you’re full of joy and contentment?
Although no measuring device can help with that, you may have a substantial idea after reading the signs below.
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- Petty issues don’t stress you out.
Only significant catastrophes can put a frown on your face. In case it’s merely a wrong coffee order or a long wait to enter the cinema, you let it go.
- You genuinely cheer on people.
Envy and hate have no room in your big heart. When you hear about your friends’ successful endeavors, you praise them and never think you should be in their place instead.
According to Sarah Rumpf, MA, LPCC, “The pursuit of happiness is a major goal for a lot of people.”
- Learning new stuff is fun for you.
Leaving your comfort zone to gain current skills or experiences does not bother you. It makes you glad to be able to do all these.
- You know you’ll enjoy the future as much as the present.
Despite your excitement for what life brings in the coming years, you don’t mind living in the moment. In fact, you are contented and thankful for everything that you have right now.
- Every kind of relationship you have is ideal for many.
Zen Jordan Lewis Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, PhD, LMHC, LPCC said “The desire to be happy is a natural human instinct.”
Your bonds with the individuals you love feel so strong that any conflict becomes effortless to fix. There may be a distance between you too, yet you’re aware that it won’t decrease your affection for each other.
- You don’t like being happy by yourself.
It’s essential for you to see others smile and laugh as much as you do. Thus, you give them gifts or share insightful or funny stories all the time.
- Saying and accepting apologies are easy-peasy.
Being too egotistical to acknowledge your mistakes is never one of your traits. You don’t bottle up negative emotions either and forgive people after a short while.
- You look forward to another day at work like it’s your first.
Not everyone seems very eager to come to the office, especially in case they’ve been doing it for years. Despite that, you prepare for work daily with a light heart. It is a sign that you’re still happy with your occupation.
- New colleagues find you approachable.
Strangers feel as if they can befriend you faster compared to other co-workers. That may be because you smile more openly and are willing to talk to them a lot.
- Being alone doesn’t make you lonely.
You don’t need to rely on anyone to be happy. You might as well eat in a restaurant on your own, and you won’t feel jealous of others who dine with their partners.
- You can sleep like a well-nurtured baby.
Switching off the brain to take a rest is always problematic for individuals who lead a doomed life. It is never a hassle to you, however, because you make it a point to only focus on positive thoughts.