Month: November 2019

 

 

 Marriage is something that helps you in a lot of ways. It is useful in giving you the potential to know your capability and discover more from your personality. Sometimes, it allows you to become a better version of yourself due to the struggles and experiences that teach you to create positive things. Though not all married life lessons are great, it still gives you the chance to determine your purpose in life.

 

Focus

When you are married, you tend to understand your needs and wants. Therefore, you set achievable goals that are useful for your overall health. And because you want something that supports the growth of your spouse as well, you tend to focus on your responsibility on doing the right thing that positively helps him achieve for his well-being. You may experience unpredictable negative instances, but it still won’t stop you from doing what you need to do.

 

 

Inspiration

When it comes to aiming for something, you develop a will to do things out of the ordinary and deliver it well. You even try to push your limits most of the times because you have the motivation. You value the kind of determination you have because you want to give appreciation to your marriage to be able to make it a place that you can feel safe and comfortable. Your inspiration will provide you with a reason to work hard for something beneficial not only for your personal development, but also for your partner’s positive mental, psychological, and behavioral aspects.

 

Self-worth

Working on the things that make you happy and satisfied with your marriage is somehow attainable when you tend to value your worth. Giving yourself the kind of love you deserve doesn’t mean you’re selfish but instead allowing yourself to have self-confidence. It only allows you to understand that you can never entirely get everything unless you are capable of giving. You tend to value your self-image, discover a new set of skills, appreciate the things you can do, and become a person that you have to be. In that sense, your self-worth matters because it helps you understand that the only way to love others is by loving yourself first.

 

 

Here are some of the words that therapists have to say about self-worth:

• Joyce Marter, LCPC: “Either in the morning or evening, journal about the issues that are preoccupying your mind.”
• Elizabeth Cush, MA, LCPC: “It takes time to learn new things. Practice and patience are needed when working on improving self-esteem.”
• Lisa Neuweg, LCPC: “While we don’t immediately undo or heal damaging beliefs or wounds, we can ease into honoring ourselves.”

Hard Work

Hard work tends to create a difference in all aspects of your married life. Even if you are valuing yourself, focusing on doing what you need to do, and having all the inspiration you need, these will all falter when you don’t work hard for it. Your goals and dreams are useless if you don’t work hard to attain all of it. When you try hard, you tend to enhance your physical, mental, and emotional, capabilities to avoid excuses.

You can benefit from online platforms like BetterHelp to improve your well-being. They also have a social media extension which makes it more accessible. Therefore, the opportunities matter as long as you strive to accomplish what you need to strengthen your married life. If you want to more about online counseling platforms, you check out what people are saying about it in this review.

Marriage can be a wonderful thing in a person’s life. Not only because you’ll have the chance to be with someone that you truly love, but also because it gives you a sense of purpose in living the kind of life you deserve. It is something that will keep you looking forward to the future.

 

A crumbling marriage is inevitable especially when both parties are not working enough together to fix things between them. A simple marital argument can somehow turn into an idea of divorce if they both agree to stop thinking about the importance of their union. Sometimes, both partners tend to disregard the internal and external factors that affect their relationship and end up losing the interest in continuing the commitment. So in case, you’re one of the couples who tend to experience unfortunate marital situations, here are the things you can do to rebuild your relationship.

 

 

Analyze Yourself In The Relationship And Create Progress

It is reasonable that both partners need to make changes to save the marriage. However, there will be a time that your spouse will completely give up on your relationship and you’ll have to be responsible for making sufficient changes that will save your commitment. It may take a while to see the results of those positive changes, but it will make your unhappy partner respond to your positive behavior and appreciate your effort in saving your relationship. Make the initial steps in turning your attitude that can make your spouse respond positively. Perhaps he will soon end up cooperating, fixing your marital issues over time.

 

Keep the romance alive at all times. According to Bridget Levy, LCPC, ““The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners,” said Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPCRomance doesn’t necessarily need to involve a dozen roses or a love poem.”

 

Remind Yourself About What You Are Working Towards Your Marriage

When it comes to marriage, you often know what you want in life and that brings you to the idea of keeping all the positive vibes within your commitment. To avoid conflicts and intense argument, try to break down the issue and create doable steps and begin tackling them one at a time. Think about your marriage as something that keeps both of you in a situation where only the two of you against the world. Look for things that make you appreciate each other and find particular reasons why you start building the marriage in the first place.

 

Take good care of your loved one, especially if he or she is going through stress and anxiety. Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPC said that “The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners.”

 

Revive The Intimacy, Try To Explore, And Allow New Ideas

You and your partner consider marriage because you have a strong connection. You use that connection to become one, and with that, you show how much you mean to each other.  Since intimacy is the first thing that suffers in a marriage when both couples tend to lose interest in their commitment, it is important that you consider bringing back the spark. You have to try and remove the tension from looking at stress as the source of connection and think about it as a driving tool that will make you complete each other. It doesn’t have to be a forceful act but rather a psychological affection that brings your marriage to life.

 

According to Julienne B. Derichs, LCPC, “It helps you learn how not to take things too personally, which is so helpful in any long-term relationship.”

 

Be Committed And Let Go With The Grudges

There are tons of ups and downs on marriage that you and your partner can experience. Sometimes, some of them are emotionally and mentally stressful. But when you think about your spouse as someone who is giving you enough reasons to fight for the things you want in your marriage, you can at least let go of the grudges and leave the past behind. Eventually, you will see that forgiveness and appreciation are keys to keeping the commitment on its right path.

A relationship with someone you love is something that you want to achieve in life. You may not have the kind of perfect marriage that you desire, but your effort and commitment to saving it will eventually turn it into one.

 

Marriage is a bond that requires both you and your partner’s cooperation. When one or both of you can’t seem to handle the situation, there are better options that you can follow so you can continue the course of staying together. There’s no perfect relationship, and everyone handles stress differently. So if you and your significant other are experiencing tons of stressful stuff, you can check out these reminders for a practical marital solution.

Fact: “Another indicator of burnout in clients and counselors can include feeling a perpetual sense of self-disappointment — that no matter what you do, you are always falling short.” says Erin M. West, LPC.

Sex Is Not A Definition Of Love – The kind of stress that you might feel when there’s a lack of sexual intimacy is common in every marriage. It sometimes makes you think that both of you are starting to drift apart. You tend to assume that your physical connection becomes an issue because the two of you tend to focus on the act itself. Though it is understandable that attraction and pleasurable sexual intercourse is a priority in every marriage, it still does not support the idea of love but merely just a factor that connects the both of you in the physical and emotional aspect.

 

 

Practice Individual Self-Care – You and your partner are prone to relationship destructions. When one of you tends to stop caring for yourselves, the rate of stress can elevate to a much higher level. From this point, both of you will struggle to see the importance of taking care of one another. You need to understand that relationships don’t stand on their own and require both your contributions. Therefore, when you can’t seem to show self-care, it will be less likely that you can provide care for others.

Rhonda Williams, Ed.D., LPC, NCC said “It has been said that self-care is not a luxury but an ethical mandate.”

Don’t Play With Time – Struggling to have time for everything is a battle you encounter in your relationship almost every day. It is stressful because it affects a lot of things such as communication, bond, behavior, and personal development. So to make your relationship work, you need to manage time wisely. Don’t allow it to decide for your future because it doesn’t stop to support you. Both of you must be ready to prioritize solutions whenever you think that it’s momentarily needed.

Focus On Your Shared Needs – Stress is exhausting, and when you don’t pay attention to your needs, it will be impossible for you to understand self-healing. The only thing that can make you keep track of your marital situation is by knowing the things that keep you and your partner together. When you ignore listening to your emotional, psychological, and behavioral aspects, you’re making it hard for your marriage to continue its course to happiness. You need to put your mind, body, and soul in one place so you can focus on attaining benefits for both your well-being.

 

 

Avoid Too Many Assumptions – Your thoughts matter. And when they’re out of control, your thoughts can cause fatal destruction to your marriage. In most situations, those assumptions can give you a wide variety of stresses that can ruin both your health and relationship. Therefore, don’t try to take ALL things seriously and avoid creating meanings on your significant other’s verbal or physical behavior.

According to Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC, “We might experience stress when we fear that we don’t have the right resources to accomplish a task.”

When it comes to the relationship, there are tons of stresses out there that you can probably imagine to experience. But when you know how to deal with them even in simple ways, there’s a slight chance that you can somehow save your relationship.

According to Judy Herman, LPC-MHSP, “One thing you must know about marital growth is this. There’s a difference between closeness and intimacy.”

Being married to someone you love is already a fulfillment, but it doesn’t mean that you have to stop learning things together. Your marriage is the source of your happiness, so it also needs to be the factor that supports your personal growth in life. So how can you say that your marriage makes you complete? Here are the things that you need to know.

Learn How To Communicate

Though communication is always an important factor in a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to talk to each other. Sometimes, it is the idea of knowing when your partner needs space. It is when you put in mind that gesture and physical touch are also a form of communication. As long as you understand each other’s needs, then you know that you have that strong connection that doesn’t require talking.

Go On Dates

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should stop having fun together. The truth is that married life requires more adventure compared to the dating stage because it helps in strengthening the bond that’s already there. When both of you decide to try different things, it will develop your sense of appreciation towards each other. Moreover, it will allow you to discover new things about your partner along the way.

 

 

Stick Up For Each Other

Everything about your relationship comes from both your contributions. You don’t make decisions alone and work on marital issues separately. Your marriage makes you a team, so you’ve got to act like it. You need to value each other’s role in keeping your relationship. Don’t try to pull each other down especially in front of others and always make sure that you have each other’s back through thick and thin.

Learn To Apologize

Say it as you mean it when you’re apologizing. Disregard your pride and ask for forgiveness because there are no shortcuts in attaining peace in a relationship. Both of you should realize that accepting your mistakes is the only way towards understanding and apologizing is an essential factor for forgiveness. However, you must remember that apologizing is not enough, so you still need to work on things that help the situation to become better.

Don’t Hold Grudges

When you try to forgive your spouse, don’t ever hold grudges. Don’t look at their mistakes as a tool that you can use against them only to win an argument. You need to forgive and immediately forget everything to avoid a bitter relationship. From there, you can work on your perspective and manage your differences accordingly.

Show Affection

Showing your love towards your spouse doesn’t always have to be a physical connection. There will be that one thing that can make you understand each other’s affection. Try to figure out a love-language that you can use to ideally tell each other how much he or she contributes to your life. A small gesture such as flying kiss, wink, and love letters are somehow practical ways.

Be hopeful at all times. Joanne Ketch, LPC, LMFT said “Families can be a rich source of love, support, and motivation.”

Don’t Change Your Spouse

The only reason why you shouldn’t change your spouse is that you can never do it. Changing someone else is impossible. The only thing you can do is value your partner’s personality and understand him or her in every way. You need to accept all his or her imperfections and encourage positive adjustments.

 

 

Avoid Focusing On Too Much Happiness

Happiness is something you and your spouse should aim in a relationship. However, focusing too much on wanting a perfect marriage is toxic. You need to consider acknowledging the fact that your happiness comes from learning to put one’s needs above yours. It’s the only way that you can understand what real satisfaction is all about.

Your marriage is essential in your personal growth. Therefore, when you understand that your connection requires effort to make it work, then you’ll never question the kind of relationship you have.

Did you know? According to Jeffrey Kaplan, MA, LMFT, “Therapists who are licensed in their state to do couples therapeutic work must follow a canon of ethics that is strictly laid out as a part of their licensure.” This is one of the considerations that you must look into if you decide to seek professional help.

 

As an individual, you have these unique characteristics that best describe you as a person and most of the times you are aware of what your personality says about you. However, we’re expected to make efforts in all kinds of areas to improve ourselves not just for the things that we can offer others but also for our development.

Continue reading “Therapy Guides On Personal Development – How To Build A Better Version Of You”